The moment was never dull, and although I couldn’t thank everyone for their impact on my life for the past 30 years, I could allow them to feel my energy. A middle ground of energy, somewhere between the vast blue sky and the radiant rays emitted from the sun. I come here often to feel the mutual energies of the people on this planet, but more so to align myself, to ground myself. Detach myself from the little voice in my head, subtly bullying me in attempts to disapprove my worth. To break the reservoirs in my heart and allow the river to run free, like deer’s do in the wild. Some would say this spot is holy, some would say this spot is everything, I just call it paradise.
I can’t stop walking away from your future so I walk towards your past. The way your heart cries for love turns me into a magnet attracted to the helplessness you have learned. As you long for my presence, I try to run but I slip, I try to hide but I’m exposed. There is nothing left to do, I am meant to fix you, or at least help you. I sit here fully exposed, open enough to keep you from closing. I am here. Hello there.
I was once invigorated by the way the buildings antennae’s hid behind the clouds. I used to think they were afraid to come out. The same way the man was afraid to show his love. He thought he didn’t deserve to show love, he didn’t know what it was like to love unconditionally. So he too would sympathize with the antennas instead ducking behind pillows and only expressing his real self when he was behind closed doors. He was all too familiar with the suppression’s of the city until the sun came out and the clouds went away. The antennas were fully exposed and he felt alone. No one left to sympathize with, no company left to share his misery with. He knew he had to grow, he knew he had to let his love shine. He stuck his head out the window and from the depths of his vocal cords screamed the biggest “I love you!!!” for the whole city to hear. His journey had started, transcendence was in his future.
You are and always will remain the final piece. Fitting into my destiny like a fluffed up night gown fits onto the body of an angel. I will always remember you because it is impossible for me to forget you. If the universe came to an end, I would be at the final wall waiting for you, emotionless at first, suppression was always my thing. But before the light goes out, whether it’s two seconds, one second, or a fraction of a second, when it’s all said and done, my smile will burn bright.
Let your eyes navigate you to the light, take it in and cultivate it, grow it. Turn it to something that was greater than yesterday and is awaiting the evolution of tomorrow. Sparkle the rays across your heart and let it glow. Let it glow like the furthest star in the universe burning bright for the rest of the universe to know that distance is just an illusion. Your light is sharp, some would say it’s crispy without being burnt. I would say I hope your light guides you but that would be too easy because I know your light will carry you across the tundra in your mind currently disguised as burdens. It will carry you across the harshest conditions that await you and it will lead you to eternal love. So please, whatever you do, don’t waste your light on me. Your lights destiny will carry you if you let it. Please allow it to do so.
The hills wealth pushes away the smog 10/10 times. Residing on the highest peak, we dress in bathing suits and bring ourselves back to the 80’s. I want to feel that energy, I want to relax in nostalgia. Take me home today, take me to a spot a little more hilly than the norm.
Streets run longer, further, brighter and more alive than the fainting heartbeat in my chest. Maybe these streets can save me. I hope its vibes lift me, or at least lift my spirits to the unconditional motivation I used to generate, longing for forgiveness and the need to be relevant. My intention was to always be significant, but maybe I was stirred in the wrong direction. Maybe these streets can guide me to the significance I always strove to be. I will follow the signs of these streets, in hopes they lead me to a bigger truth. The stoplights will be my mentor. I will speed up when the light is green, with all my love that is currently being preserved in the core of my insecurities. I will slow down when the light is yellow, take it all in, acknowledge my gratitude. I will stop when the light is red, I will stop everything. Tell the girl I have known for so long, the same one I have countlessly smiled to as I laid in been dreaming. The same one that has uncovered the life in me. The life that had been lying dormant underneath the flesh of my skin since the last time I saw her. I will not only stop and tell her I love her, but I will tell closest loved ones that I love them as well. I will tell them two times, maybe even three. I will even go out of my way to tell them. The red light will allow me to marinate in love. Then when the light turns green, I will do it all again. Streets run longer, further, brighter and more alive than the fainting heartbeat in my chest. Maybe these streets can save me. I know they will.
In a city full of burdens, he reaches out and breaks free from the 22nd floor of the ballroom meeting. Filled with bosses and clients who hide from their own burdens, it is no wonder they all reside in the city. Masking the pain of the past, the city drowns them in uncertainty. The minds engulfed with the anxieties of making it to the train station on time, earning a big raise in their job, and making it to grandma’s house on time to play cards because she is one of the last things that makes them feel like a kid again, they cling to the one thing they need the least. If I can just make a little more money, everything will fall into place, thought the middle aged man who has been working at the same job for the last 20 years. Society has showed him that the green paper with a face printed on it is the end all be all, but this time he is tired. It has been a lifetime and he still hasn’t stopped to take a breath, he can’t stop running from commitment. He has seen smiles turn to stones, mostly so in himself. He wants change but the city lights are so bright and the breeze from the lake is so perfect as the hair follicles on his skin dance to the wind. The big fluorescent pizza shop sign on the corner brings him back to his childhood. The same pizza parlor he ate at with his cousin every Friday night before they hit the town in attempts to get lucky. He is too comfortable, comfortable of running to death and cheating life. In a city full of burdens, he reaches out and breaks free from the 22nd floor of the ballroom meeting. He looks out the window, he is okay, his life is okay, he will do the same thing next week.