Although the essentials aren’t needed, they sit heavy in my backpack and act as a necessity to my mind. If I could throw it all away I would, but I’m not there yet. I’m not free enough, I still conform to the poisons that have been engrained in me. Although the layers are heavy, I consciously peel them, day in and day out. It will be only moments until I am that of a molten rock, held by nothing, free of everything!
I had once heard of it, but never saw the place where all things come true. I could imagine a place covered in palm trees, purifying the air for all life to breathe. A place where blue sky’s scream your name aligning back to your path. A place where the sun rejuvenates your skin and turns the darkness you had been running from to a light that you now run to. A place with a prideful breeze, one that doesn’t quit, one that doesn’t ever give up. I know this place exists, I will go there when I can, I will stay there as long as I can.
For a second in my mind, the path deceived me. It convinced me that it was going to be impossible, that it was going to take a lifetime. It told me there were no guarantees and no second chances. Standing desolate as high wooden walls constructed in my mind, a sense of incompleteness took me away, bringing me to a place of clarity. No walls here, just love and authenticity. I knew what I had to do, I knew it was time. For a second in my mind, the path deceived me.
In a time where we are all shrinking, don’t look past growth. For although it might look small, there is always a progression behind the scenes. Like all things in nature, cause and effect does it’s part. If he is angry, she is calm. If he is sad, she is happy. Opposites attract and duality must exist. It is inevitable that in a time of shrinking, there is a time of growing.
The sight of thrills approved the feeling my consciousness was craving. The spirit inside me wanted to escape for the day, to come alive, to feel the way it was meant to feel. Between an atmosphere covered in relentless Deja Vu, my soul broke free. Freedom succumbed the body and everything was right again. The feeling felt familiar, the way it was always supposed to, the way it had already been written. It was time for the soul to take the reins, guide the body to the riches of happiness the mind had always been trying to find. I was flowing now; I will flow forever.
The moment was never dull, and although I couldn’t thank everyone for their impact on my life for the past 30 years, I could allow them to feel my energy. A middle ground of energy, somewhere between the vast blue sky and the radiant rays emitted from the sun. I come here often to feel the mutual energies of the people on this planet, but more so to align myself, to ground myself. Detach myself from the little voice in my head, subtly bullying me in attempts to disapprove my worth. To break the reservoirs in my heart and allow the river to run free, like deer’s do in the wild. Some would say this spot is holy, some would say this spot is everything, I just call it paradise.
I can’t stop walking away from your future so I walk towards your past. The way your heart cries for love turns me into a magnet attracted to the helplessness you have learned. As you long for my presence, I try to run but I slip, I try to hide but I’m exposed. There is nothing left to do, I am meant to fix you, or at least help you. I sit here fully exposed, open enough to keep you from closing. I am here. Hello there.
I was once invigorated by the way the buildings antennae’s hid behind the clouds. I used to think they were afraid to come out. The same way the man was afraid to show his love. He thought he didn’t deserve to show love, he didn’t know what it was like to love unconditionally. So he too would sympathize with the antennas instead ducking behind pillows and only expressing his real self when he was behind closed doors. He was all too familiar with the suppression’s of the city until the sun came out and the clouds went away. The antennas were fully exposed and he felt alone. No one left to sympathize with, no company left to share his misery with. He knew he had to grow, he knew he had to let his love shine. He stuck his head out the window and from the depths of his vocal cords screamed the biggest “I love you!!!” for the whole city to hear. His journey had started, transcendence was in his future.
You are and always will remain the final piece. Fitting into my destiny like a fluffed up night gown fits onto the body of an angel. I will always remember you because it is impossible for me to forget you. If the universe came to an end, I would be at the final wall waiting for you, emotionless at first, suppression was always my thing. But before the light goes out, whether it’s two seconds, one second, or a fraction of a second, when it’s all said and done, my smile will burn bright.