The moment was never dull, and although I couldn’t thank everyone for their impact on my life for the past 30 years, I could allow them to feel my energy. A middle ground of energy, somewhere between the vast blue sky and the radiant rays emitted from the sun. I come here often to feel the mutual energies of the people on this planet, but more so to align myself, to ground myself. Detach myself from the little voice in my head, subtly bullying me in attempts to disapprove my worth. To break the reservoirs in my heart and allow the river to run free, like deer’s do in the wild. Some would say this spot is holy, some would say this spot is everything, I just call it paradise.
I can’t stop walking away from your future so I walk towards your past. The way your heart cries for love turns me into a magnet attracted to the helplessness you have learned. As you long for my presence, I try to run but I slip, I try to hide but I’m exposed. There is nothing left to do, I am meant to fix you, or at least help you. I sit here fully exposed, open enough to keep you from closing. I am here. Hello there.
I was once invigorated by the way the buildings antennae’s hid behind the clouds. I used to think they were afraid to come out. The same way the man was afraid to show his love. He thought he didn’t deserve to show love, he didn’t know what it was like to love unconditionally. So he too would sympathize with the antennas instead ducking behind pillows and only expressing his real self when he was behind closed doors. He was all too familiar with the suppression’s of the city until the sun came out and the clouds went away. The antennas were fully exposed and he felt alone. No one left to sympathize with, no company left to share his misery with. He knew he had to grow, he knew he had to let his love shine. He stuck his head out the window and from the depths of his vocal cords screamed the biggest “I love you!!!” for the whole city to hear. His journey had started, transcendence was in his future.
You are and always will remain the final piece. Fitting into my destiny like a fluffed up night gown fits onto the body of an angel. I will always remember you because it is impossible for me to forget you. If the universe came to an end, I would be at the final wall waiting for you, emotionless at first, suppression was always my thing. But before the light goes out, whether it’s two seconds, one second, or a fraction of a second, when it’s all said and done, my smile will burn bright.
Let your eyes navigate you to the light, take it in and cultivate it, grow it. Turn it to something that was greater than yesterday and is awaiting the evolution of tomorrow. Sparkle the rays across your heart and let it glow. Let it glow like the furthest star in the universe burning bright for the rest of the universe to know that distance is just an illusion. Your light is sharp, some would say it’s crispy without being burnt. I would say I hope your light guides you but that would be too easy because I know your light will carry you across the tundra in your mind currently disguised as burdens. It will carry you across the harshest conditions that await you and it will lead you to eternal love. So please, whatever you do, don’t waste your light on me. Your lights destiny will carry you if you let it. Please allow it to do so.
The hills wealth pushes away the smog 10/10 times. Residing on the highest peak, we dress in bathing suits and bring ourselves back to the 80’s. I want to feel that energy, I want to relax in nostalgia. Take me home today, take me to a spot a little more hilly than the norm.
I climb the ladder in my heart to the top of my mind only to realize that things are are much more complicated here. It takes me five minutes to realize I have made a mistake. I slide back down to my heart. I am back to simplicity, things are pure again.
Laying in bed at night with a sliver of hope that one of these days you will recognize the blood, sweat, and tears I have put into my craft. The taunting process has taught me one of the most influential lessons my mind has yet to learn. An infinite amount of efforts can never earn validation through someone at a lower stage of consciousness than the consciousness of the efforts being given. The soul already knows this and acts in love no matter what. Like the last runner in the race, the mind plays catch up to learn the lesson. A disciplined mind will understand, a naive mind must mature through many generations to grasp this lesson. Simply allow your soul to hold your minds hand through this lesson for your mind is much too scared at this present moment to be alone.
The dark color that paints the walls of my nightmares resemble the same color that outlines the ceilings of my dreams! The duality in it all always stems from the same source of love! Cherish the negative because without it there would be no positive!