The City Pt. 8

The city teaches shallow. If only I was as gorgeous as it, then people would love me. They would love me not for what I am, but they would love me for what I am worth. They would love me for the the things I own. They would love me for how I look. They wouldn’t love the deep depths of me I carry around on a daily basis. They wouldn’t love me for the battles in my head I have countlessly won day after day. They would love the surface. To them that is enough, to them they would die for that. The city doesn’t cheat artificial validation, but it does give glimpses of hope. Maybe if we swam to the center and understood the intentions of the foundation it was built on. Maybe if we looked at the ideas behind the madness and unmasked the core. Maybe too, we will glow like the city. We will stand out and reflect rays of sunshine the way the glass buildings do so on a breezy summer night. Maybe letting go is all we need. Maybe internal reflection is the key. Maybe dreams do come true. In the city I know they do.

Passage & Image: ©Copyright 2019, Kaz’s Blog

It’s Fine I Never Needed Them Anyway

It’s fine, I never needed them anyway can only take you so far its best to put down that drink and remove yourself from the bar.

It’s only a matter of time til your pride runs out of stamina and your ego hits a wall, when the day is said and done it is up to your heart to be the one to call.

Although they weren’t always fair, they were always there.

The things they did were not okay but they still were there to say hello how was your day?

Running to peace, you went the wrong way. Unlimited attempts to keep painful thoughts at bay.

You were avoidant, you put on a front, you made excuses, you weren’t upfront.

You were in an uncontrolled spiral, looking for home base. It took you years and years to decide you wanted to go the right way.

Thoughts grew darker, heart grew sharper, everything you thought you were no longer defined you, god by you side, you no longer hide, it has always been you two, together you will surrender to the heavens above and allow forgiveness to smother you with love.

©Copyright 2019, Kaz’s Blog

Photo Credit: @cameronmfahey

My Independency Was Your Grounding

Dirty influences and a bottle of wine. Hard to keep you out of my mind, I still fall asleep. You couldn’t afford sobriety, addictions made you broke. Take what you need, I’m steady, take what you want, I’m golden. Convincing myself til night rolls around and the dusk offers loneliness. The sun gone, I stay lit, a bright candle. You use me to read, to learn, I guide you relentlessly, I almost forget to guide myself. A codependent light can only go so far until the light centers itself back on its source and regains its virility. Like an island filled with brush, I center myself from all lacking energies. My independency becomes your grounding, I hope you grow, I hope you dream, I hope you learn. Bask yourself in ambition, be my twin, grow next to me. I want to see you dance, like the last flower in the field, roots too strong to decay, forever standing sturdy. You will be the lesson for the next, a key for the broken door, opening the fences in minds that have kept their truest selves hidden from the light. You will transform the world, I will give you the energy!

©Copyright 2019, Kaz’s Blog

Photo Credit: @cameronmfahey

5 Times Out Of 10

5 times out of 10 I dream of a memory with you. The other half I wonder, in efforts to get back to the fantasy. A perfected plan for perfection, take me back to nostalgia. Copy and paste my past memories to my present state and carry it into my future until all of it is smothered and decorated with the purest form of love. When all is achieved, I will be, we will all be.

Passage & Image: ©Copyright 2019, Kaz’s Blog

I Think Of The Time

I insert my earplugs in efforts to drown out the world, I am now drowning in my own thoughts.

I think of the time the sun shined through the naked sky, no clouds, just blue.

I think of the time the rain fell so hard, like the drops were being shot out of a cannon.

I think of the time I sat on the swing as a child, innocent and naive to the futures purpose.

I think of the time I felt complete, laughing, smiling.

I think of the time they told me I was a pawn in life.

I think of the time I knew they were wrong.

I think of the time I was an impact on this world, not an impact that put a dent on the world but an impact that took the dent out.

I think of the time I sat on the benches by the beach doing my best to see the world spin.

I think of the time you sat in my arms, all complete, the opposite of heartless.

I think of the time we were in love, you comforting me like a sweater in the cold and me completing you like the last piece to a puzzle.

I think of the time I questioned my purpose only to find the answer is inevitable.

I think of the time my destiny was lit, similar to the only star shining in the absent night.

I think of the time I couldn’t sleep, not thoughtful but thoughtfull.

I think of the time I couldn’t get out of bed, thoughtfull and thoughtless playing tug o war.

I think of the time I went wild for your touch, almost losing my mind.

I think of the time I forced myself to get out of my head, taking my earplugs out, and listening to what the world had to say. I can breathe now, I am not drowning anymore.

©Copyright 2019, Kaz’s Blog

Photo Credit: @cameronmfahey